new best friend

Tonight, I took the "youngers" (12 yr old daughter and 5.5 yr old son) out. The boy scouts were coming to the house for a movie and snacks - it was going to be a sweaty, smelly, fun night for them - so we needed to get away!

We decided to enjoy some pizza and some frozen yogurt. We had interesting conversations about kids at school, homework, playground madness, hippopotamuses, true friendship, and Perry the platypus. It was entertaining. We were serious, we were silly, we were stuffed!

After eating some cheap cardboard pizza, we headed over to Tutti Fruitti. We LOVE this place. But tonight I was struck by something other than the best frozen yogurt ever (I love the banana, the peanut butter is amazing too... but the pineapple/coconut, wow).

As we were walking into the yogurt shop, my youngest exclaimed, "well, HEY!" to a young, black boy. I had never laid eyes on him. Caleb walked up to him, sat down, started talking. You would have thought that we were in a high school cafeteria. They were hilarious... chatting, laughing, discussing major topics of the world (mainly Phineas and Ferb episodes)... I left him outside of the shop sitting on a bench with this friend of his... got his yogurt, came back, they were still going a mile a minute.

I loved sitting back and quietly watching this hilarious union. They could have been brothers separated at birth (of course with completely different parents due to the fact they were complete opposites). The little boy was in third grade - my son is in kindergarten. They discussed TV shows, siblings, favorite toys, how cool it is that a hippo can be completely under water while just his eyes pop out of the surface of the water, and many other highly important topics.

It was time to leave... they said their good byes, hugged, and I told the little boy's mother that she had raised a precious young man... she, of course, said the same. As we were approaching the car, my son says, "mom, he is just the coolest new best friend ever". I said, "Do you talk to him on the play ground or at church?".... He looked at me without hesitating and said,

"Oh mom, we just met."

My son... he did not care that he had never met this child. He did not care that the child was three years older and a foot taller. He did not care that this child was of a different race. He did not notice any of these things....

Instead, he saw a sweet smile. He saw an "awesome Phineas and Ferb shirt". He saw a child who could talk about all of his favorite topics.

I wish when I looked around Durham that I would see the town through the eyes of my son... there are so many friends that I am missing out on because I get wrapped up in crap that does not matter.

Lord, help me to be open to the people around me... thank You for sending Caleb to be my teacher.

hindsight

years ago - Scott and I started trying to have children... we struggled with lots of decisions... How many should we have? Should I continue to work? Do we need to move into a different house? How much money are we willing to spend on fertility treatments...

then a few years later... Should we adopt? Should we adopt domestically or internationally? How many children should we sign up to adopt at a time? How much money can we afford or borrow to complete an adoption? Which country should we go to in order to grow our family?

then a year later... What do we do with this toddler who is climbing ladders to the roof? How can I chase him around while puking up my guts while pregnant with a second one? How do I parent two kids in less than 6 months time? Am I really cut out for this?

then came the "hard" questions about church and education for both of them (it was another 6 years before we were blessed with a third child!)...

Scott and I came to our decisions together... sometimes we agreed, sometimes we fought, but we always ended up on the same page...

We decided that I would not work until the kids went to school... and only then would I work during the hours that they were gone to school... Having our firstborn need more help at school, I then started questioning whether or not I should home school...

I have very little confidence in my abilities... I graduated from college... yet, I have the patience of a... well, that is not even a fair statement... I have NO patience... none... zilch... with a hyper child, who needed me to explain things a hundred times, and still would need additional help.... well, I knew that one of us would be dead or in prison!

However, now... I find myself thinking that I might should have looked into homeschooling a little more closely... I see my kid wanting to do the same amount of stuff his peers are doing... but we do not have time for activities... we are doing homework for over 5 hours... I have always wished that my child had chosen a sport to get involved in... however, I see now just how it would never have worked with all of this homework..

hindsight can be a wonderful tool for learning... it can also be a tool for bringing on a lot of guilt...

I love my kids... I am trying desperately to do what is right and fair for them... I really am...

God, please help me make as many "right decisions" as I can the first time around...

They suffer when I am wrong...

rough

high school is rough... funny, but I do not remember it being rough... at least not academically...

High school was fun for me... I had a boyfriend. I performed in musicals and plays. I made mostly A's. I was super involved in my youth group. I went to a lot of parties... not with my youth group. I drove around with my friends and laughed a lot. I do not remember doing homework. I never studied until college. I would stay after school for play practice or show choir until 5:30 or 6 most days. It was a blast. My grades and test scores were good - I got into the college I wanted. I completed the degree I wanted, then moved on to the exact job I wanted... I remember everything a lot easier than I am seeing for my kid.

My oldest is doing homework tonight... it is 7:20pm. He has been working since a little before 4pm... He is nowhere near finished. It hurts my heart to see him struggle. He is just doing worksheets and defining words. He is not studying.... if he were to actually study, he would have to work even longer. I know that is not going to happen...

After 6.5 hours of school, is it really okay for us to expect our kids to do homework for over 3 hours... how about 4 hours...

I wish he was having the same experience I had in high school...

I wish I had the patience to homeschool...