christmas

yes... I know...

Christmas is three months away

But can I please tell you how much I LOVE CHRISTMAS?!? Being a part of my husband's family means that we celebrate Christmas at Thanksgiving. Scott's brother is a pastor and that makes traveling around Christmas more difficult. Scott's mom is the music director of her church as well, so Christmas is a hard time for them to be away as well. This all means that I get to celebrate Christmas twice a year...

and I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

I guess you are sitting there thinking that I have lost my mind... writing about Christmas on September 24th... I know... but...

I have been Christmas shopping!!!

With four nieces to shop for and two nephews so far, I have a lot of kids to make happy! I have started looking around and trying to find something that is "child specific" for each of them... I do not want to just buy something that happens to be on sale... although sales are great...

I want to buy something that will show them that I thought about them... I love them... I know them... I want them to feel my love and then remember my love when they see their gift for months to come.

I know Christmas is not supposed to be all about the gift... but in my mind it is...

See, God gave a gift to me in His Son. Every time I see a cross, read the Bible, sing a worship song in church, hear a great sermon or talk about Jesus with my kids, I am reminded about that gift. I am reminded that God loved me so much that He wanted me to spend eternity with Him. I am reminded that He turned His back to His own Son so that He would be able to turn towards me. What a gift. This gift was the ultimate gift. I did not deserve it. It was given out of His love for me.

On a completely different scale - I understand, I truly do - I want my family to look at the things that I do for them or the gifts that I give them, as gifts given out of my love for them...

God knew exactly what I needed. He had the right size, the right timing, the right gift....

I love Christmas more than any other time of the year... I may just have to go get my iPod...

I may need a Christmas tune or two...

I have gifts to wrap...

Did I mention that I have finished all my shopping for my nieces and nephews?

hee hee

I love Christmas!

21 hours

... continued...

I got started on the meds... then there would be an emergency c-section... then the doctor would come give me more meds... then there would be... all in all there were 3 c-sections that night. After the third, I grabbed hold of my sweet Dr Gunter and "quietly and subtly" explained to him that I was next... I did not care if I gave birth, had a c-section, or someone pulled out a magic wand from their back pocket and "poofed" him out... I was exhausted and hurting.

My friends and people who have met me since this event never believe the following statement... but I SWEAR to you that it is true... I never yelled during labor. More than that, I actually whispered the last hour and a half of my labor. Scott would keep his head right up to my mouth. I would barely whisper to him, "it hurts", he would turn and say, "she said it hurts"... (whispered)"I want drugs", Scott - "she says that she wants drugs." And so on and so forth for over an hour!

 I was exhausted.

At about 12:50 the following day, after over TWENTY ONE HOURS of labor, the nurse called the doctor in and they decided to start setting up the room for delivery. They had laid me back, my mother had one knee, Scott had the other knee (after a few other tactics that will be discussed at some other time and place!), and they said that I was almost ready to push.... I let them know I was ready - they said hold on one moment while we... and I pushed.... I really couldn't help it. My boy was ready to share his knowledge with the world, and I could not hold him back any longer! The nurse turned around to ask me something and screamed - so much for the room being ready.

Caleb Walker Sublett came into the world at 12:56pm. His room had no lights set up, no stirrups set up, and yet - he did not care... He screamed his way into our hearts... Now, I was exhausted. The sweet nurse Bonnie, who had started the time with me the day before and was amazing, held my 5 pound bundle up for me to see... I laid back with my eyes shut, tears streaming down my face, and said, "please clean him up before I look at him - I worked too hard to see all of the gunk!"... I know - I am an idiot... sorry - I was tired, emotional, and hurting.... I am sure he was the most beautiful, gunk-covered baby to ever be born - but I am just going to have to take my mother's word for it. I did not see him.

Bonnie cleaned him up, weighed him, put footprints on a baseball hat for my father that said "proud papa", and handed him to Scott... the proudest daddy in the world.

My mother cried and laughed through the entire event - see, I am adopted, so this was her first birth ever to witness or experience. (this should be a topic for a future blog...)

Scott handed my baby to me .....

and

...the world stopped...

just for a moment

He was perfect. He was so flipping tiny that he looked like a glow worm - 5 pounds 1ounce and 20 inches long... he was a worm. But he was a beautiful worm!

Caleb's birth was more than a month earlier than it was supposed to be and one day later than I thought it would be. This has been our experience with him every day - You do not know what you will get with him. He says what he thinks (yes, he gets it from me). He is smart as a whip. He has a heart for the underdog. He loves his family intensely.

Caleb had to stay in the hospital for a week due to some medical issues. In addition, he was deaf. We had him tested by two hosiptals. We were told to learn sign language and start preparing for his future. I cannot really explain this to people, but I was not upset by this at all. Scott was devastated. It bothered him to think about Caleb's future. We are both musicians, and Scott had a hard time dealing with what Caleb was going to miss out on by being deaf... however, I just went with it. I thought my kid was perfect. I can only explain it by saying, I knew he was okay. I am not saying "I knew he would hear" - I am saying that whether he could hear or not, I knew he was okay.

I had a peace.

One evening, my father had stepped over to visit, a plate was dropped accidently and Caleb started screaming. We were shocked. We did a few simple tests (clapping, startling, yelling) and saw that he could hear us. I took him to the doctor, and they could not explain what had happened.

"He should not be able to hear", is all they would say.

I tell you Caleb's story to let you know that watch out world... My boy has been through a bunch. He is tough as nails.

He will move mountains when he grows up

He has already conquered my heart

6 years ago

Six years ago I was checking into the hospital...

I was not due until October 26th. It was a crazy day.

Let me start at the beginning... Scott and I got married in August of 1993. We wanted three boys... We actually started trying to have kids in February of 1994. By April, we were not pregnant and I headed to the doctor. We had a plan, I was a teacher, we were on a schedule, and I was in a panic. So, we started fertility treatments that summer. It was a roller coaster of emotions and experiences.

       In May 1997, I had a miscarriage over Mother's Day weekend... it was horrible, like all miscarriages are.  I had gained over 45 pounds while on fertility treatments, emotionally was nuts due to all of the drugs and hormones, and had a student in my class (in the 8th grade) who had an abortion the very same week.I was devastated... Then our doctors sat me down and said the most horrible words, "Mrs Sublett, we do not know how to help you. You have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. 96% of the women who come through here are able to be helped, but we can not help you. I'm sorry..."

I was an utter failure (know, that I understand now that I wasn't, but this is how I felt)

So, fast forward - In the Fall of 1998, we traveled to Penza, Russia to pick up our sweet, little boy. After all of the years of fertility, I went on "the pill" to regulate my body again, and yes... I got pregnant before we left... we returned from Russia, and I gave birth to girl six months afterwards.... It was crazy. After all of this craziness, we were thrilled and happy... AND DONE. Two kids. Both healthy. One special needs in some areas. Two perfect children, two sleep deprived parents, one beagle.. life was as good as it could get...

...or so we thought...

So, in 2005, my hubby decided to have a vasectomy... We knew that we were unable to have children, but I needed to KNOW that no more kids were coming into our household. We scheduled it. We were ready. And then... eleven days before his appointment, I took the last pregnancy test from under the bathroom sink... decided it would be a shame to waste it, so I took it. But please understand that it was only as a joke. But it seems that the joke was on me. The test came up positive immediately. No five-minute-wait for a sign. It was immediate. I took seven tests before lunchtime.

Well, it took me a few months to understand how this would be a blessing.

So, on Saturday, September 17, 2005, some great friends hosted a wonderful shower for me. I was uncomfortable and huge... I was the size of a barn. I was retaining water like you cannot imagine. I could not eat at the party because I was hurting. My baby was dancing, playing soccer, or just trying trying to kill me from the inside-out... My girlfriend, Tracey, took one look at me and said, "You have edema. You need to go to the doctor"

   Monday, September 19th I decided Tracey had a point, so I headed to the doctor... My blood pressure was 210/170... borderline stroke. I had pre-eclampsia. The doctor said, "It's 11am, you need to drive straight across the street. I will meet you at the hospital. We need to get this baby out of you." I sweetly explained to her that I had a baby shower scheduled at work at 12... so, I would meet her there around 1:30! I proceeded against her will,  and enjoyed my shower. I considered it to be my last meal, so I enjoyed myself. After the shower, I called Scott to let him know that  after he got off work, he should drive over to the hospital because we were going to have our baby 5.5 weeks early. I also mentioned that he would need to drive my car home from the hospital due to it being full of baby presents!!!

I was checked into the hospital at 1:45pm. I was taken to my room in a wheelchair. My nurse, Bonnie, was amazing. I had a nursing student attempt to put in my IV... she tried three times... my arm looked like a PIN CUSHION... now, remember that I was hormonal and miserable... I "pleasantly" let her know that she was done and could send my Bonnie back in and she did not need to come visit me again! I started my round of drugs to start labor, and began walking my laps between contractions.... I think that I had to have created ditches in the hallways due to the huge number of laps I made that afternoon and night...

It was a crazy day. I was thrilled at the thought of meeting my baby... I was terrified to know that he was going to be tiny and premature... I was hurting like crazy.... I was happy... My mother had asked to be in the room and was loving every moment and walking every lap with me... It was going to be an event of a lifetime...

...to be continued tomorrow...