big day

in seven hours, I will wake up my 7th grader... in seven and a half hours I will wake up my 9th grader and kindergartner...

I have spent the last several days getting binders labeled, paper purchased, items for lunches gathered, scheduled made and copied, signs for car line, open houses attended, and nerves squashed...

but now

it is here

I have spent so much time getting them ready, getting their stuff ready, and getting the house ready for all of the changes ...

but I forgot to prepare my own heart

12 years ago, after being told that we could never have biological children, I was standing in an upstairs room with Scott and another couple (the Farmers from Elizabeth City, NC) in Penza, Russia... we were anxiously waiting for the nursemaid to crest the top of the stairs with our firstborn son... he was 18 months old, blonde haired, covered in scabies, dressed for the arctic weather (it was 60 degrees outside)... and most of all, he was OURS. He was hungry for attention, love, food, and anything he could see or touch.

I swear to you that it was yesterday.... sometimes, I wish it were... he is so grown now...

12 years ago, after being told that we could never have biological children, I was so thrilled to have a 4 hour labor and FAST delivery of our daughter. We had our son for only six months before she was born. We were living a life of chasing a toddler and feeding a baby every hour, and were exhausted and overjoyed. She was tiny as a 6 pound 6 ounce bundle of joy. She smiled and cooed and her first word was "mama". She laughed at everything and was easy to please.

I swear to you that it was yesterday... sometimes, I wish it were... she looks like a woman today...

6 years ago, after being told that we could never have biological children, I was in shock to know that I was getting ready to give birth again. Our third child would be born 5.5 weeks early due to my being sick with preeclampsia. He was 5 pounds and 1 ounce. He had a heart murmur and a horrible cough. His billiruben was not good and he had to go back in to the hospital for three additional days after having been released. The doctors told us that he was deaf. He was tested for three months and we were told to start learning some sign language and make preparations.... a couple of days before Christmas we received the best present ever, he started crying when someone dropped a dish. He heard everything completely fine after that and doctors could not explain it. He was verbal and brilliant.

I swear to you that it was yesterday... sometimes, I wish it were... he is so much smarter than I am.

but, it was not yesterday. They are growing up. They are inspiring me, frustrating me, teaching me, and loving me every day. They are starting a new year in school. We will laugh over stories, fight over homework, cry over friendships, and celebrate over victories.

I love my job as their mother.