a big day
When I was growing up, my dad would wake me and we would sneak to the kitchen... Some years, I would make toast and cereal. Some years, we would go elaborate... never knowing that my mother had gotten out of bed, gotten dressed and applied her make up, put on her robe and gotten back into bed all to let me surprise her. We would give flowers and gifts. I knew that she was my biggest fan and closest buddy. She was the glue that held my life together. She attended every event of my life (still does). She was the world to me. And I knew that one day I wanted to be just like her.
then I got married
When we were married, I wanted kids immediately. We were married in August and I went off birth control within six months... when I was not pregnant in February, I went to a doctor and explained to him that I needed three sons by age 25 (I was 22). Doctors laughed, but agreed to help me. Tests were done. So many exams were given. I drove to Atlanta to a specialist for over two years... Then we moved to NC and I saw specialists in Chapel Hill... until...
a sad day
The Wednesday before Mother's Day in 1997, I found out I was pregnant. I did not tell Scott. Instead, I bought baby items and planned to tell him Friday night... but Friday started with cramping... but Friday afternoon, I was no longer pregnant and had a very different story to tell him when he arrived home from work to find me on the bathroom floor in tears. Two days later I had to go to church because of "jobs" that we had during the service - it was a horrible Mother's Day... I hated mother's day and thought that I always would.
a new day
Little did I know that a couple of weeks after my miscarriage, a beautiful boy would be born on the other side of the world... and he was mine. In October 1998, Scott and I went to Penza, Russia and picked up our son. And then to the amazement and disbelief of our doctors, I gave birth to our daughter six months later... Mother's Day 1999 was the best day ever. It was all I dreamed of my entire life... yes, I was 28 and the mother of two amazing babies... and then in 2005, we were blessed with our third miracle, our second son.
Life doesn't work out the way you plan... I did get my three kids... but I had planned for three sons, and I am so glad that God saw a different plan and gave me a girl to help me balance our home. I had planned to have all three before age 26... but God wanted me to be 35 for Caleb's birth and that meant that I continued to be a preschool teacher instead of going back to school - and I am so incredibly blessed that happened.
Mother's day means many things to many people. Growing up, it meant a celebration of the lady who was everything to me... then it became a very dark and sad day for me for a few years... but now, it is a celebration for me - both to honor my own mother who continues to cheer for me from her house across the street and to celebrate my three kids who are almost all grown and hardly need me now...
Happy Mother's Day to all of the ladies here... Some of you have children in your home, some in your lives... but we can all mentor and love the children around us, guide them, and help them grow into amazing people...
I am so glad that I was given the gift of being the mom to
Scott Alexander, Jessica Erin, and Caleb Walker...
They are my world...
