April 25, 2012

set up for failure

if you have a kid that has trouble keeping out of trouble...
DON'T SET HIM UP FOR FAILURE

we all have areas of our lives that are difficult... I debate; therefore, I should avoid hot topics. I eat when I'm bored; therefore, I should stay busy. I shop when I am angry; therefore, I should try to control myself.

As a parent, one of my jobs is to watch out for my kid... Sometimes we have to remove them from a situation because we know that it will be impossible for them to succeed. They are not old enough, mature enough, or maybe smart enough to recognize the imminent danger...

I do know that a certain amount of failures are valuable to help teach them, stretch them, and prepare them for their adulthood....

Yet, I will help as much as I can...
I will try to stand back, but sometimes I will not be able to help myself...



i will save him

April 24, 2012

girls weekends are good for the whole family

I just returned from a wonderful weekend away. I was able to travel to Carolina Beach with three great friends! We stopped at the Dublin Winery (I do not drink wine, but it is a gorgeous little place. My friends enjoyed the wine, and I loved the yummy grub and beautiful flowers). We stayed in a two bedroom condo right on the beach... cool breezes, sun burn, yummy home-cooked meals, and laughs that made my tummy hurt for hours!
I needed the time away and could not have asked for a better weekend!

But this post is not about my weekend... I want to challenge ALL of my girlfriends that you need to take time away... maybe you can only do 24 hours at first, but you need to get away.
It really is good for the entire family...

Your man will be fine. He may get over-whelmed. He may serve pop tarts and McDonald's all weekend (I do not prepare food ahead of time - that defeats the purpose of me getting time off). He may mess up bed times. He may not make the kids put on clean underwear or bathe for the entire time. He may get frazzled.... But, he will be fine. He will love seeing you walk in the door. He will appreciate all you do for the family. He will miss you terribly.
And he may be AMAZING without you there to direct and interfere.

Your children will live. They may cry. They may fight like cats and dogs. They may trick Daddy into letting them watch shows that you think are stupid (sponge bob makes me want to scream). They will love eating crap all weekend. Eating McDonald's for 5 meals in a row will only make them adore their father even more. Being able to get away with late bed times without baths will be a fun "secret" and will create memories that you could not provide. They will be able to see that although they need you, they can make it without you. .... And, they will be fine. They will appreciate how orderly you do things a little more. They will appreciate how you hold things together and keep everything running smoothly. They will recognize your contribution...

But you will enjoy using the bathroom alone, not cutting any one's food, not separating a fight, sleeping without waking up to a small face right up against yours to tell you about their dream, walking through a mall without hearing a child beg for something they NEED, choosing a restaurant that you would enjoy instead of one that your children would behave in or like, laughing at adult jokes and enjoying adult conversation, bragging about your family, and many other activities that may seem minor to others...


you need to go away

it will benefit everyone

I go away for one or two weekends a year... not often enough for me, but probably borderline too much for my family... But I come home a happier, better mother and wife. As a mother, you never get time off. You work both inside and outside of the home. You plan all meals. You heal the sick. When you are sick, you suck it up and continue carpools, meal planning, homework hell, laundry and everything else. When I go away, I usually leave a list of things the kids need to attend and sometimes ideas on things they could do... but I do not put outfits together or prepare meals...
If I kill myself the week prior, it ruins the trip...

try it
you will make it a habit to go away