answering questions

Since starting my journey to surgery, I have been asked several questions - I thought I would try to answer a few...

1 - why are you doing this -why not work out? Well, I have. I have had a trainer, I did 5am workouts for MONTHS, tried diets, weight watchers, and many more... however, I have several health issues which compound my problem. This is the solution that my doctors and I reached together.

2 - why the hurry? I have not been in a hurry. I have thought and prayed over this for about 4 years now. I just recently (june 28) found out that due to my pre-existing conditions, BCBS would pay for it. Once I learned that I would not have to strap my family financially in order to get healthy, I jumped on it. It may seem as though I am in a hurry now - well, I am. I start back teaching on August 27th and I do not want to miss a single day due to surgery. I LOVE my job, and I am not willing to compromise!

3 - why raleigh instead of Duke? Duke is slow. I also chose the Bariatric Specialist of NC in Cary because this is ALL they do... no appendix surgeries, no gallbladders - JUST bariatric surgery. I have had several friends/acquaintances go here, and three people I know have had the same surgeon. It feels like a very comfortable office. I am treated well, and I feel comfortable here.

4 - what are you having exactly and why not gastric bypass? I went to this process expecting to have gastric bypass. I do not fully meet the requirements. My surgeon suggested the GASTRIC SLEEVE because I could still lose 75 pounds, but I would do it over a longer period of time. Hopefully, I will be able to stay ahead of loose skin with weight training.

5 - is this the same as lap band? No it is nothing close to lap band. I will have no foreign objects put inside and left. A surgeon has (for lack of a better word) a 6 row stapler. He will start at the top of my stomach and staple diagonally. While the stapler seals my remaining stomach, it is also sealing the discarded piece and separating the two (a blade is between rows 3 and 4). I will lose about 75% of my stomach. This will mean that I will have about 2-3 ounce capacity initially. After it heals and is ready for real food, I will have about a 5-6 ounce capacity. However, this is not really what will help me - I do not really have portion control issues... I have a food absorption problem. This will help my body to change the way it absorbs food.

I am happy to talk about any of my surgery with anyone... please keep the questions coming. I am not embarrassed or ashamed... you do not have to send them through private messages. I have weighed around 217 for over fifteen years now. I have tried more ways to lose weight than I could count. I am just finally thrilled at the possibility and probability of losing weight... I will be smaller than the day I married my husband 19 years ago...

big day

today was a big monday

on Friday, I received word that I failed my sleeping test. I was told that I would need a cpap machine... it would take over a week to order... I was very discouraged.

but today is monday - a big monday

I got a call this morning from the sleep study facility... they will allow me to have a "loaner" cpap machine while waiting so that I am not delayed.

Then I got a call saying I was short some forms... I made one call. It was fixed. So, at 11am all of my forms were sent to blue cross blue shields for approval. It normally takes 24-48 hours for approval to come through.

but today is my big monday

at 5:30 pm, I received word that Blue Cross had approval to pay 100% of my procedure...

On Wednesday I will go in for my pre-op work and will schedule my surgery...

it is all starting...

next week could very well be the beginning of me becoming a normal-sized person...

next week could be the beginning of me feeling better about my size..

I may not sleep between now and then

sleeping... under wire

So, the sleep study was last night... kind of crazy! Thankfully, the study was located in the same building of my surgeon so I did not have to try to find a new building in the pouring rain!

When I arrived, I met the cool Techie... His name was Preston... covered in tattoos, shaved bald, funny as heck, and had a knack for making you feel relaxed in a weird environment...

He led me to a nice room with a queen sized bed... looked comfy... and I guess it would have been had I not been wired up.... but more in a minute! I had to watch a 25 minute video on Obstructed Sleep Apnea. Boring video, but was filled with a lot of info that I was not aware of beforehand.

Then I had to fill out a questionnaire and get my vitals taken. About 9:30pm, Preston came into my room and started the wiring... two on my left calf, one on each collar bone, a couple on the back of my head, one on top, several around my eyes or mouth... weird. I also had an elastic strap across my chest and another across my belly.

When the testing started, I had to lay still on my back while the machines calibrated... it was nuts. He could tell when I looked left/right or up/down... he could tell if I clenched my teeth. it was nuts.

I watched TV for another 30 minutes or so while texting my family and surfing the web... I was convinced that I would never sleep... never mind that my room was a cool 68 degrees and I had the entire bed to myself along with ownership of the remote...

But I slept... not sure if I snored or how I did... I woke up around 4:15am and dozed on and off until 5 when Preston came in to remove all of the sensors... I did ask about my snoring, and he swears that I am not a loud, problem snoring lady... we will see

So, the final step of testing has been done. I now wait... I am not very good at waiting. All of the results from all of the tests over the last week have to be sent to my surgeon's office. Then they will be sent to Blue Cross Blue Shields... After about 48 hours from that, I will be approved and will schedule my "pre-op" appointment.... Surgery will follow 2-3 weeks from that meeting.

I can see a normal size in my future... I am so excited that I could scream... I feel like I have prayed this through and He is opening every door I come to even before I try to open it... I just pray that it continues!

...stay tuned....

moving along

Due to a helpful Patient Coordinator, I have an EKG, Upper GI, and chest xray all scheduled at Rex Hospital for Friday morning... and a psych appt in Raleigh on Friday around lunchtime...

All that is left is the sleep study!

Things are moving quickly. In a perfect world, everthing will be completed and done in time for school to start. I want to keep my family's life as "uninterrupted" as possible.

Jessica is doing a FANTASTIC job watching Caleb and entertaining him while I am away at long appointments. I am so proud of the little lady is has become. I come home to a straightened home and happy 6 year old... Couldn't do all of this without her! She is nervous about what I am beginning... but she understands that it will help me to be healthy and for me to be happier with myself image...

crazy week - but a good week - weeks like these, show you who you can count on and where to go for help - we all need to know these things when the chips are down!


Thank you, Lord, for co-operating doctors' offices, children working together, friends who walk thru the fires of hell for you, and a good support system in place...

a sleeve is not just for a shirt

This morning, Tracey and I went to the Bariatric Specialists of NC in Cary, NC. I met with a Patient Coordinator, a Patient Account Rep, a Nurse, my surgeon (Dr. Jon-Michael Bruce), a Nutritionist, and a couple of kind ladies in the Lab... After coming home, I learned that I have several more tests on Friday morning at Rex Hospital... and then a psych consult on Friday... and I am in the process of scheduling a sleep study...

Balls are rolling, things are happening...

I have shed many tears this week...

just thinking about the FACT that this will be my final birthday as a fat lady...

my life will be changed forever... in many ways.

I have been discouraged about having gastric bypass by my surgeon. Apparently, I do not need that serious of a surgery. Dr Bruce said that I could lose between 75-90 pounds with a procedure called the gastric sleeve... You can watch the procedure here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwvbrvVxquI&feature=related)

With the gastric procedure, I would lose the weight in 6-12 months. Yes, that is fast and great - however, it would be difficult to keep up with the skin toning. With the sleeve procedure, I will be able to start walking on day one, light aerobics week two, light weights week three, and full workout by week four! The weight will come off more gradually over a 18-30 month time period.

I agree with Dr Bruce that this would be a better idea for me.

stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen...

stay tuned

step two

so, if step one was deciding that I wanted more information and help with my weight...

I got a call this afternoon. I have my first consultation next week... I will be going to the Bariatric Specialists of NC Center in Cary. I have been assigned a surgeon (Dr Bruce). So, next week I will find out what the doctors there think my options are... I will also have to have several test... EKG, GI tests, psych evaluation, and nutritionist consultation....

This is not a final decision to have surgery. This is just step two in my quest for information on how to achieve a healthy, normal sized body for me and the better of MY life...

I have wanted this for so long that now I find myself nervous and anxious... I can see a light at the end of the scale tunnel...


I will keep you posted!

fat

I cannot believe that I am writing this - I have never been this brutally honest. But I think it is important for women to know that when they are fighting themselves with weight, they are NOT alone. I have struggled for 41 years with weight and am finally taking control and trying to change my body.

I have never been small... short, yes... small, no.

When Scott and I got married, my wedding dress was a size 16. I was actually a size 14 in clothes, but for some reason for the "correct alterations"... whatever, it was a 16. I cried. I truly loved every part of my dress. It was the dress I would have designed myself and was perfect... except for the size. For some stupid reason, I weighed myself on the morning of my wedding day. I weighed in at a whopping 167 pounds... Again, I thought I was a huge beast.

Shortly after getting married, Scott and I started trying to have children. We were have a lot of difficulty, so we needed the help of the infertility clinics in Atlanta, GA and in Chapel Hill, NC. Due to the hormones I was having to take, I gained over 45 pounds in a few short months. It was horrible. In the first 18 months of marriage I gained 50 pounds. Yes, that made me around 217 pounds...

Since 1995, I have stayed this size. I have clothes that date back over 15 years. They fit then, and they fit now. It is sad and depressing. I fluctuate 5 pound up and 5 pounds down...

but the fact remains the same...

I am fat

I have good blood pressure. I have a good resting heart rate. My cholesterol levels are normal.

I am fat

I have no gallbladder. I have had gestational diabetes twice which means I have a higher likelihood of getting diabetes after 40. I have had thyroid problems since giving birth to Jessica in 1999.

I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome.

So, I have at least four issues fighting with me when I try to lose weight.

I have tried numerous over the counter pills and water pills. I have tried Weight Watchers. I did Sim-Fast for a couple of months 10 years ago and gained 11 pounds. I have joined three gyms in the last 15 years, and actually did work out. Each time I might have changed a little of my body shape or lost a little but there was no big change or "A-ha" moment.

I have laughed about it and cried about it. I make jokes and make people laugh... I am the official funny, fat chick that you invite to parties to make people feel better about themselves.

Well... it is over.

Two years ago, I had the epiphany 2010... (http://sublettcraziness.blogspot.com/2011/07/reflection.html)

With this epiphany, I decided that I did not have to do anything I did not want to do... and I think that was/is great... but I think the epiphany that is coming from 2012 will add to this thought...

I am not going to be fat anymore.

I don't want to be, and remember, I said I do not have to do anything I do not want to do...

So, I do not want to be fat.

This brings a problem because I have tried things before. So, I have enlisted some help. I am seeing a doctor who is closely monitoring my status. I am joining a fourth gym tomorrow morning (Monday, July 9th). I have started going to a new type of fitness class called Look Good Naked... it is horrible and difficult and I love to hate it... of course, I could care less to ever look good naked. I would completely settle for "look okay while completely dressed in sweats in the dark"... but we are working on that part. And I am also considering surgery.

Surgery... yes, that is serious. Yes, there could be complications. Yes, it is permanent. Yes, I am aware that it is a complete lifestyle change. However, if it will help me life a better life, be more active with my children, be happier, and prevent me from getting diabetes... well, I will do it. Due to my numerous health issues, my husband's company would help pay for it. So, I am interviewing surgeons at Duke and at the Bariatric Specialists of NC. I am trying to learn which surgery could help me the most. I have done a ton of research. I have sent out emails to most of the people that I know have had surgery to hear their stories. I want to know the good, the bad, and the ugly.

So, here it is... my first ever blog about weight.

I am starting a journey with intention.

I will succeed.

I will not be fat.

I tend to try to hide behind my children in photos if I allow a picture to be taken of me. Looking at this picture honestly, I can see that my efforts are useless.

My mother pushed for this one and I let her take it just to shut her up. But this photo has never been printed or shown to anyone due to the numerous chins that it shows.

This was taken last month at my parents' 50th Anniversary Party. I did not know it was being taken or I would have sucked in my gut and stood behind the podium. It to will never be printed or shown. When I made a book as a keepsake for them from the party, I only included one picture on me. I was with my family all standing in front of me... yes, all three kids had to hide me...