best so far

A lot has happened over the last month... a lot of great things and some miserable things... in other words LIFE has happened.

In my journey of weight loss, I am learning more and more every day about this mental battle that I constantly fight. I see weight loss in the mirror some days, but other days I see a 220 pounds woman looking at me. One day, I get up and feel thinner and am happy for the day, but the next day, I feel fat and sluggish and want to hide in my bed.

There is no rhyme or reason to it, and I do it to myself... well, except the other day when I had an ignorant woman say to me "Really, 46 pounds? I had no idea you were that fat!" Yea, that comment made me speechless and made me want to hide for the rest of the day and eat mashed potatoes by the truckload... except for the part that I could only eat about 5 ounces of them and that wouldn't help depression! hahahahahahaha

but yesterday afternoon was amazing for two reasons...

I jumped over two huge hurdles... 1) In the past, weather, pressing time, a hang nail... anything could give me reason to not exercise... but yesterday, I jogged two and a half miles in the rain. Yes, I carried an umbrella for part of it. Yes, I looked ridiculous. BUT I did it. I did not allow the cold or the rain to stop me. I ran...  2) on August 14, 1993, I wore a size 16 wedding dress. Later that evening, I wore size large sweatpants and a large t-shirt... then the next day, size 14 jeans... Yesterday, I went into Goodwill and tried on a pair of size 14 jeans. I zipped them, buttoned them, and then bought them. I am still 4 pounds from my wedding weight - but my ring size and jean size are back to 1993!

yesterday was a good day... one of the best so far in this journey....