I have always considered anniversaries to be something that you share with someone... your first date, your wedding, a special happening with a close friend or family member, a death of a loved one... You celebrate or mourn WITH someone...
Today is
MY anniversary.
A year ago today, I changed my life forever. Many of you, my friends, remember that last year on July 18th I made the decision that I would not be fat for another year... it makes so many people uncomfortable for me to say that word... sorry... But that is how I felt. I was fat. I fluctuated between 220 and 230 pounds... I was tired a lot. My feet hurt. My knee hurt. I sat a lot. I did not play with my children. I was not a confident person.... But I decided to do something completely different than anything I had done in 16 years...
I put myself first.
As a wife, I attempt to put Scott first. I plan meals around his likes and dislikes. I decorate in colors or patterns that he would not think are too feminine. We go out to supper at places that I think he would enjoy. I try to handle the children's appointments without making him leave work. I work around his schedule 95% of the time. I try to handle the kids' homework hours so that he is not bombarded when he hits the door. When they go camping, I pack all of the medications ahead of time so he will not be bothered by it. I attempt to think ahead and plan to keep the stress at a minimum if possible... I love my man and try to be the best wife I can be.
As a mother, I attempt to keep my children at the top of my list of priorities. Their clothes and shoes are purchased before I even look at the budget to consider myself. If they have plans, I push mine aside and taxi them wherever necessary. I have not gone back to work full time so that I can continue to volunteer in their classrooms, schools, and such. I have driven them to school and picked them up from school almost every day of their lives. We have "done without" many times in order to keep me part-time working and more available to my three children. I go without sleep when they are sick. I will do whatever it takes to make their lives as simple as possible while still attempting to teach them responsibility and manners... I adore my children and try to be the best mother I can be.
But last summer Scott and I had a long talk... He empowered me to finally do something for just myself... no one needed or wanted me to do it... no one asked or begged me to do it... no one expected it of me or demanded it of me... quite the opposite... People thought I had lost my mind.
I was the funny, chubby lady. You could count of me to be loyal, funny, brassy, or silly. Most could not see the sad, depressed, and uncomfortable Amanda...
On August 9th, I had surgery... I was given a gastric sleeve. For those who have not followed my journey, your stomach is shaped like a kidney bean... when the surgeon cut mine, he started at the top right corner and cut diagonally, therefore making my stomach to look like a "sleeve" of a long sleeve shirt or small banana.
One year ago today I had something done that I thought was only to benefit ME... I was wrong. One year and 75 pounds later, I am a better mother.... I play with my children. I can ride a bike again. I jog. I run. I take long walks. I eat better. I am a better example for my kids to follow. I can cut grass for three hours, sweat a ton with my oldest, and then spend another two hours cutting down trees and hauling the limbs away... I have more energy. I can be an active participant in life. I have a confidence that I have never experienced in my lifetime.
I am not perfect. I am not where I want to be... but I am content for the first time in over 15 years. I have lost friends, but made many more new ones. I have removed bad habits, but started some much better ones.
One year ago today I changed my life....
Happy Anniversary to ME
I love you! I've always thought you were the greatest thing since sliced bread. Thank you for sharing your journey. It is very timely for me to read this and very encouraging.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amy - it has been a long road - but a road that I only wish I had run down earlier!!! I know God's timing is perfect... Hope you are doing well - praying for your dad and family!
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