self diagnosis

Three years ago, my oldest child was hit by a truck in a hit and run... It was scary and horrible. We spent over a week in the Neuro-ICU at Duke Hospital. To try to make it through the day, I would joke with his neurologists saying "I watch Greys, I know how this goes"... they would blush and laugh and be awkward. It gave me something to smile about each day. Last year, my daughter gave me a shirt that says "I watch Greys Anatomy so I am basically a surgeon"... it is my life.

Now, as my daughter in nursing school talks about pathogens and random bodily functions, I realize that I basically know nothing about the body I use daily... She explains things to me - I marvel sometimes and almost vomit other times...

While sitting here for three weeks in this house that I once loved but now consider a prison, I am self diagnosing. I am pretty sure I am depressed. I am definitely bored. I read little checklists off of Facebook... I have a stomach ache. No desire to eat at all, but constant desire to snack on anything with no true craving. I want to sleep but my sleep is broken up all night long. Someone posted on Facebook a list of "8 Warning Signs that You're Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted"... 

I have all of them.

The problem is I need a cure

I need a re-focus