yet

"yet"

such a small word but such HUGE capabilities found inside of it

in 1997, I was undergoing daily shots of Fertinex. One Tuesday in May, I found out that I was pregnant. After several years of driving to Atlanta and then to Chapel Hill to see specialists, it had worked. I planned how I would tell my husband. I bought a crib and a stroller... I planned to set them out on Friday night (he worked crazy hours and I wanted it to be BIG). I could not wait. I spent four days planning and thrilled. Then, Friday I started to bleed.

By Friday afternoon, I was laying on the bathroom floor. Friday evening, I had different news that I had to tell Scott... I wanted to die. I knew that I had to return all of the baby stuff that I purchased the following week, and could not stomach even looking at it.

Then Sunday morning, we sat in church. The pastor had the children of the church come to the front, pick up roses, then walk around the sanctuary to hand them to all of the mothers who were present. I wanted to die. I saw a girl approaching... she had a confused look on her face. She knew that I wanted children. She knew that her mother had prayed over me... She looked to her mother for guidance... He mother nodded... so, the child came to me and offered me the rose. I looked at the floor and said, "sorry, I am not a mother..."

but then my husband said one word

"yet"

I had to get up, go down the endless aisle (it was actually a very small church, but I swear that morning the bathroom was in Egypt), and lock myself in a stall.

yet

Scott did not know what God had planned. Scott had actually already said no to adoption many times before that day. Scott did not know that the little word that he spoke would effect me so hard. Scott did not know how much my heart was hurting and the painful roller coaster that I wanted off of.

but thankfully God did

Early in 1998, Scott and I were approached by an older lady in our small church.... "do you two have kids?" 

"not yet"

but then Scott followed with this small phrase... "we are going to adopt"

and it all began, 8 months later I was able to meet my son in a small, dirty orphanage. He was severely mal-nourished, covered in scabies, dirty... and the most beautiful boy I had ever laid eyes on. And best of all, he was mine.

yet

God wasn't done. I came home from Russia feeling like death... and found out that we were 13 weeks pregnant with our girl.

yet

God wasn't done. Eleven days before a scheduled vasectomy, we discovered that we were less than a month pregnant with our third child, another son.

yet

Yet is a huge word in my heart... it is a word of promise. It is a word of hope.

I will always love YET....