Apparently I need a shrink... (*updated*)

So I had a check up yesterday... My BMI is down more than 10%. My weight is down significantly. Whereas I had been headed to diabetes, my levels are now at the point that I am not even considered "at risk" any longer. The first time I met Dr Glavin I was wearing size 22 pants and a 3x shirt... Yesterday I wore size 10 jeans and a size large tshirt... My doctor had wonderful words of encouragement for me to continue...

But

Then she started asking me how I felt.

I told her about my jogging. I mentioned how I enjoy shopping with people now. I discussed my 5k and then how I ran the "Sublett Half" in 2 hours and 53 minutes. I told her how my children have mentioned being proud of me. My oldest said that he had been embarrassed in the past that I looked different than the mothers of his peers, but I don't anymore...

Then she asked me again how I felt.

I told her I was becoming more involved as a parent. I told her about confirmation weekend and the walking and hiking did not bother me like it would have a year ago. I told her that I have promised my boys that I would camp OUTSIDE this summer.

Yet again, she asked me how I felt.

I told her



Apparently I need a shrink

***** UPDATE*****

I am not depressed necessarily nor am I not thankful for what I have gone through... I truly BELIEVE everything listed up above... I have received a few emails and texts from readers who are concerned... ALL I stated to my doctor is that it does not seem fair that I could lose what I have lost, work as hard as I am trying, run as far as I have, eaten as little as I have, and yet...

look worse than I ever have

Not in clothes, mind you... I look so much better. I am talking about "in the raw"... Swimsuit season is coming. This is a season that puts most women into a tailspin frenzy. I get it... I just have so much skin that looks so gross. I have NO desire to allow anyone other than my immediate family view this loveliness!!!  haha

And for those of you who remind me that I can have the skin removed, you are right... however due to changes in healthcare that are imminent, I may have to pay for all of it out of pocket which will greatly change the amount I can remove and the timing of when it would happen.

So, I need to change my way of thinking... This skin is a trophy of my work, of where I have been and what I have worked through, the emotional eating that controlled my life and the significance that I am past that problem, of what I have put my body through and what I am capable of overcoming...

I will not change my mind today... but I have tried to start the change. I will get there.

This blog is to help my friends who are going down a similar path... I do not write my "heart's story" for pity but for those who need to know that while they struggle as well, they are not alone... not everyone who is looking better is actually feeling better... For my friends to know that we are all in this battle together, just at different stages....