guilt

some people have always been able to make me feel horrible... "The kids never call me"... "I haven't seen you or the kids in over a week"... "Wish you had invited ME over for supper"... "Oh, that sounds fun. Wish we had known about it"....

I am thankful that I am finally in a better place...

As I approach my 40th birthday, I feel like I have finally grown up. I can look around me and see that I am surrounded by friends who love me. I am happier and more content than I have ever been.

Back in October 2010, I had a very sobering conversation with a family member about all of the many ways I am "failing at life". I was devestated. I took all of it to heart and believed it as I have most of my life. Thank God that He had a friend give me a wonderful book called "Boundaries"... Through this book and the scriptures that it quoted, I was able to see that I allowed too many people to have a voice in my life... In all actuality, there are very few opinions that actally matter.

I am a 40 year old woman. I have a BS in Music Ed and am good at my job teaching young children. I am a happily married wife of 18 years to a good Christian husband and father. I am a wife of three of the craziest children alive. We own our home, and I love it. I have a great life. I am successful.

Knowing all of these things, why would I allow someone who should be building me up, tear me down by spewing lies?

 

(paragraph deleted after reflecting... no need to hurt someone who has hurt me...

choosing to forgive instead)

I think what I am learning.... besides boundaries... is that adult choices have adult consequences. You can choose to do whatever you want, as long as you are willing to pay the price.

I don't know.... I am still learning. But it sure is nice to know that I am not guilty.

It is a good feeling.